The Vacation
by Dead Anubis
Summary: Relena is getting bored of her job and wants a vacation. But how far will she go to get her time off...


**The Vacation **

**Chapter 1  
**

A/N: Ello there. Just a warning, this is my first fic and Relena in my opinion is OOC but it adds to the random humour of it all. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.  
  
Dead Anubis

Relena blinked.  
  
'God this is boring' she thought idly as she stared blankly at the clock as it mocked her on the wall. She glared at the contraption and wondered if clocks were only put on this Earth for the sheer point of mocking the human race. Oh yes she could see it now, aliens putting the damn things on the planet with the intention of driving people insane. Then, as soon as everyone was insane, the aliens would take over the world. Oh they thought they were so smart, but she knew their plan now.  
  
She shook her head at the realisation of where her thoughts were going.  
  
'Aliens? Jeez Rel you ARE sinking low' her mind mocked. Trying her hardest not to growl in frustration she attempted to focus back on the meeting that was occurring as she mentally argued with herself. Biting the inside of her mouth she let her eyes wander absently. They final fell on the clock on the wall. Hell's clock.  
  
'Damnit...Ok you asked for it clock...I am going to set a new law up in which all clocks are to be burnt at the stake...ha let's see you get out of THAT'  
  
Once again she shook her head to get rid of all of the insane thoughts. Sitting up straighter in her chair, seeing as her daydreaming had caused her to slump slightly, she tried to focus on the meeting again.  
  
At the beginning of her career as Vice Foreign Minister, she had found all these meetings exciting and interesting. She wanted to get peace under way and help everyone towards a better world. But the first year after the coup with Marimeia had become slowly boring. She didn't have any challenges left and listening to petty politicians arguing over nothing had lost its fun after the second year. Yes she was willing to admit that she, Relena, had grown bored of her work. Let the apocalypse come, but it with true. The kicks had gone leaving Relena very, very, very bored.  
  
'And slightly psychotic to boot' her mind jeered at her.  
  
This time Relena let a low growl slip which drew all the politicians out of their petty arguing and settle their attention on her.  
  
"Miss Vice Foreign Minister, are you alright?" a chubby L3 politician eyed her as he spoke. The comment threw Relena back into the world of the sane. She stared blankly at the chubby politician, not yet comprehending that he had spoke. Her face contorted into one of confusion as she continued her blank stare.  
  
'SAY YOU'RE ILL SAY YOU'RE ILL...SAVE YOURSELF DAMNIT' she winced at the loud voice but getting out of the meeting DID seem tempting. Deciding that her office was more tempting than a meeting with a bunch of boring men. Putting a delicate hand to her temple she rubbed it gently and placed a look of pain on her face. It was times like these that Relena often wondered if she should have gone into acting because the politicians fell for her acts all the time. It was so amusing to see them eat out of her palm like that.  
  
"Well...I don't really feel all that well...my head hurts..." she spoke quietly in a meek tone.  
  
'And queue the puppy eyes and pout...' the politicians looked at her with concern and nodded to her.  
  
"Then maybe you should go and rest. We can finish the meeting up with out you I'm sure." The chubby one spoke. Relena pouted a little more.  
  
'Time for the "I'm a strong little girl routine"' she thought with a mental grin as she winced again in 'pain'  
  
"Ohh no...I couldn't possibly...leave you...alone" she muttered in an innocent voice and smiled ruefully which completely contradicted the Cheshire cat grin in her head. But the fools fell for it and ushered her out of her seat and towards the door. They flittered around her like a flock of pigeons all the while cooing and crooning about her needed her rest and that they were capable of finishing the meeting up. So as it was Relena ended up outside in the corridor. Alone.  
  
'Score so far...Relena 12 Politicians 0' she chuckled as she walked to her office on the upper levels and seemed totally oblivious to the weird looks being sent by the other people who she came across. But then again most would be like that at the sight of their leader chuckling almost maniacally as she walked past.  
  
Hopping onto the elevator, Relena pressed the button to her floor and hummed along to the annoying elevator music.  
  
'I still think they use this music to brainwash everyone. I don't see why my proposal to investigate it was denied...unless I've discovered another conspiracy.' She chuckled again having out smarted everyone for the third time that day. The elevator stopped and the bells rang saying her had reached her floor. She glided out the 'brain washing booth' and made a B- line to her office. Waving to the secretary she wandered further until she reached her office door and ever-present bodyguard.  
  
'Ah the great Heero Yuy. Once again he has appeared to protect me...' she mentally sighed 'He's more or less a lost case now...he'll never love me...' mentally slapping herself, she pushed the emotions aside. 'I will not have my good day spoilt!'  
  
Walking up to the door she went to open it but paused and gave the stoic soldier a sidelong glance.  
  
"I see you have once again successfully prevented my door from coming to any harm Heero, I am very thankful." She turned to face him and bowed dramatically. Heero turned his head and raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Have you been consuming any alcoholic beverages or illegal substances Relena?" She stared blankly at him for a long and awkward time. Her head tried to understand what Heero had just said. Her mouth opened like a goldfish then snapped shut when no words came out. Heero's other eyebrow rose up and he regarded her with that even stare and scowl on his face. Relena recovered and raised one of her own eyebrows. Putting a hand on her hip she smirked at him.  
  
"You know Heero, you shouldn't scowl like that all the time. If the wind blows in another direction your face will be stuck like that." This time it was Heero's turn to look blank. But being the perfect soldier meant he recovered quickly. Opening his mouth he was about to retaliate when he realised Relena had already gone.  
  
'Damn her'

Relena chuckled to herself about her victory over Heero.  
  
'He's so easy to tease, that I think he does it on purpose.' She shook her head and sank into the plush black-leather desk chair. She gazed upon the piles of paperwork that literally dwarfed her. She glared at the pile hoping it would catch alight. But to no avail, it seemed that Relena proof paper had been used.  
  
"Bet it was those clocks..." she murmured to herself. Her eyes widened as she realised that she had said that aloud. She was now talking to herself.  
  
'Oh God maybe there is something in the water...yeah that's it...' she shook her head and looked at the ebony desk, its hard surface tempting to be used to bang her head upon.  
  
"I need a life...or a vacation of so-" She froze at mid sentence and sat up straight in her seat. A vacation...now that did seem very tempting. Some remote island where she could relax and have nothing to do with politics. Yes...she had enough money to buy a summer-house on some unknown island, hell she could even by an island if she wanted.  
  
'Maybe a six month vacation...but if I want to start now, I really need some time to myself, hmmmmm looks like I'm breaking out of work early today.' Letting out another laugh she opened a drawer and rummaged around in it, searching for something. After she let out a victory cry, Relena withdrew her hand, which contained a philips screwdriver. Getting up she walked over to the wall on the left side of the office and knelt down next to an air duct. Luckily this was one hell of a big duct. This particular air duct's grid was held in place by four screws and after a long time of trial and error, Relena had discovered the correct size of the screws.  
  
"Time to break out..." she muttered and proceeded to unscrew the grid.  
  
After about 2 minutes, all the screws were gone and the grid moved to one side. Relena gazed down the duct with a sense of impending doom. A cool breeze rushed through and brushed pas Relena. Cob Webs littered the duct and moved with the breeze in a creepy way. She peered into the duct trying to see but only found darkness. Cursing under her breath for not having a flash light, she gulped.  
  
'It's for the greater good, it's for the greater good, it's for the greater good...' she repeated in her head like a mantra. Squeezing her eyes shut, she threw causation to the wind and entered the duct of impending doom.  
  
'Here goes...'

A/N: Well that was the first chappy. Short I know but I can't write a lot but I will try to in the future. Reviews are welcomed along with flames. I won't threaten you guys because I can't control you...yet insert devious laughing  
  
Any way I hope you enjoyed this chapter...  
  
Dead Anubis


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